2012-01-26

I think he wants me to follow him.

2012-01-25

Haven't opened my curtains this whole time until this morning.

Turns out he's here.

And he hasn't left yet. It's been nearly eight hours.

And something's different this time. The way he's watching is less ignorable. Not like all the other times, not like it's been for the months before.

It's this feeling of... what, malevolence?

I don't know.
I don't like it either.

... and now I'm too afraid to close the curtains again.

xo

BR

2012-01-23

So apparently I'm fine.

My dad was home and the twins were out, but I guess I've been here since a couple days after the first.

Apparently, I've been sleeping ever since I fell asleep on the first. Not unconscious, not comatose, not sick or anything, just... asleep. Jenna got ahold of my dad and he insisted that I not step through the doors of a hospital (he doesn't trust hospitals) and came to pick me up instead.

I've also been sleepwalking. And apparently sleep typing. From what my dad has observed, I'll get up whenever everyone else is asleep sometimes and go to my computer and write and then go back to bed without saying anything. My dad's been leaving food at my desk to get me to eat when sleeptyping there, and it's worked so far, but he's out a lot at night so he can't actually be there when I'm up and about. He only knows because of his security cameras, I guess.

Jenna is not missing, but she's left the apartment for the time being because things feel off there, according to her texts. She's returned back to her usual gig of skipping from place to place a bit, but remains close to the apartment in case I return and has been checking in with my dad periodically via e-mail to keep an eye on me. Because Alva would want her to, in her words.

I've skimmed through two of the drafts. They're not in English. All I've gotten thus far is a headache. I will probably post them or at least try to paraphrase translations later.

Thanks for sticking around guys. I don't really know what caused this but... yeah.

I guess I'll probably have to look into it at some point. Just not now. Now I need food and a hopefully short sleep.

xo

BR

2012-01-22

It is Sunday, January 22nd.

I just woke up in my sister's old room in my dad's house.

I don't hear anything downstairs.

Yesterday it was New Year's Day and I fell asleep after a day-long drive home with Freedom. Apparently twenty-one days have passed since. I don't recall anything.

I'm hoping this is a hallucination or waking dream like the ones I've been having lately; but if so, it's very different than the usual.

The room is pretty empty, but it has a hamper with clothes I recognize as mine in it, and a duffel bag at the foot of the bed that also appears to be mine. My computer is on a rolling desk thing by the door and my cell phone is on the nightstand.

I checked this account and my phone and e-mail and such to see if I've been up to anything. There are a few unanswered texts from Mike and some subscription/spam e-mails, but I guess I haven't posted or communicated with anyone else in a few weeks. However I did find several unpublished drafts in my Blogger account, spread out in between Jan 1 and today. The most recent one is from four days ago.

They are all from odd times in the morning.

I have not apparently heard from Jenna. Freedom, I don't know if I ever got a chance to talk to you again after the first, but if not, I apologize.

Checked in the mirror and I look fine.

I'm gonna go see if anyone else is home.

xo

BR

2012-01-01

Very glad for people on the Internet.

Ssssspecifically, the good and kindly sir FreedomCaged who I'm sure you've seen around if you spend any time on my comment threads.

Freedom, if you're reading this, I'm reeeeaaaally sorry for what Jenna said, she was just being her suspicious self. She doesn't spend much time on these things so she basically associates everyone Slender-related as a proxy. I'm not against you and my opinions are in no way associated with hers, she just happens to be living in my apartment at the moment. Very sorry she upset you.

I would still like to repay you for the incredible favor so I hope you haven't disappeared so quickly. You know where I am now should you ever desire to find me!

Now that that order of business is done. Aura and Knit, thank you for the concern. I will be taking a very very long nap after writing this - I might wait until later to post it, actually, for the sake of typo-checking - and definitely eating most of our food in the next couple of days, but I've taken a long shower and gotten some calories in my stomach, so I'm fine. A lot of the thanks for that goes to FC as well.

JCPOLO, you asked what happened to Alva. I don't know if you've thoroughly read my previous posts but she disappeared one night while we were in the great white North. She had taken off to Canada after a fight to follow a false lead my father immorally gave her, and I came up to find her not long after. We were to spend the night in an old building on an island to test a theory or two of hers regarding some beings she has had some contact with throughout her life and the good ol' Tobias you probably know. It was going fine until I looked away for a moment to retrieve something and she was gone.

I ended up making a deal with a high risk factor with a certain tall skinny businessman to get her back. As was the agreement, she is no longer within Their grasp. Unfortunately neither is she in mine. So currently I'm playing the game of Where in the World is Alva Mackenna. Please do feel free to join the search if you are interested in Alva. I need all the help I can get.

Aura, you have said I now have some 'splaining to do. I assume you mean of why I was in Memphis without a way to get back. And I suppose maybe you aren't the only one wondering that? I dunno, I suppose I might as well explain.

...

Okay, actually, I've really got nothing. To be perfectly honest I was in bed either dreaming or having a daymare thing, I just can't be sure of these things anymore. And then I just sort of stumbled out in front of a tree. I wasted the last of my battery loading maps to figure out that I was for some reason in Tennessee, apparently, and then my phone died, so I didn't have any contact anymore.

I found a bench to sleep on and in the morning wandered around trying to figure out what to do. I don't remember whether that was for one or two days or half a day or whatever, just that I ended up getting some crappy buffet food from an cheap restaurant and sort of stumbled out of there without paying. Which I immediately felt horrible about and very nearly puked it all up. I basically spent a lot of time wandering the streets around where I had awoken and so on, trying to figure out how to call somebody or get Internet or charge my phone or get free transportation. But these things are sort of a problem when you have some fairly severe OCD symptoms that sort of interfere with a lot of otherwise viable options.

I ended up finding a library not too far away and I sort of snuck in when they weren't looking (I don't think people without shoes are really allowed inside) and logged onto the computer for a couple of minutes to post my most recent post on Blogger. Did some more wandering. Once it got late enough that no one was really on the streets, I managed to get a pair of crappy dirty tennis shoes off of a telephone wire. (Seriously, why do people do that? I never understood it. But I guess it worked out in my favor.) Stowed those and found an alley to crash in.

Next day stuffed my feet in the shoes (which were about four sizes too small) and managed to pass well enough as a human being to get in the library the normal way. Went back online, did some more commenting with you guys, and since I desperately needed an Internet connection to leech... I sort of 'borrowed' one of their e-reader thingies that could connect to their Wi-Fi. Stuck around the building mostly since then, so that I could keep contact best I could.

Anyway as you could see Freedom offered like some sort of miracle man to give up several hours of his life to come get me. So I went back to the park (I returned the library's device of course, subtly) for the night and was awake in the morning to meet FC for the first time in person.

Free showed up about twenty minutes early like a gentleman. Pulled up driving a tiny silver car into the parking lot of the school I was loitering in front of, rolled down the window to check who I was and told me to hop in.

Very interesting meeting him for a couple of reasons, mainly because I had never managed to form a clear picture in my head of the guy, so nothing to match with in my mind. Also to be perfectly honest his eyes freaked me out for embarrassing OCD/paranoia-related reasons which really have no base in reality, so I'm sorry if that seemed rude, Free - but uh, yeah, McDonald's in the back seat reassured me of his safety so I shook his hand and stuffed myself in the car (could barely fit) and we took off.

Incidentally, Freedom, sorry again for eating those burgers too fast and puking. At least it wasn't on your nice leather seats, right? Ehhhehe... Yeah.

The drive must have been something like a couple dozen hours give or take, straight. We went damn fast on the Interstate, or I'm pretty sure it should have taken a lot longer.  I apologise, FC, that in all that time I probably wasn't very helpful to any of your questions.

I guess we did talk about some stuff, which I may go through in my head and try to put together in another post at some point. I'll let you guys know.

Anyway we ended up back here in California early morning. I had to borrow FC's phone to call Jenna to let me in. I invited FC up because he was damn tired (and rightly so) and also because I owed him a fucking lot. Anyway we got back to the apartment which is good and I got him a caffeine-y beverage but instead of actually getting to chat or allowing me to find a way to repay him, Jenna had to spend the whole time giving him the cold shoulder and then said something very stupid which, once again, I apologize profusely for, Free - and he left so that he wouldn't get so frustrated as to slash us.

Thanks, Jenna.

Actually I do need to thank Jenna for real because after I showered after that she dropped a bunch of papers on me which actually contained some potentially useful information. Not necessarily directly relevant to Alva's whereabouts, hence why I haven't been researching such things, but nevertheless I might as well take a look. I'll write more about that later too.

So, in conclusion, I am very glad to be back home with a bed and food and electricity. I was also just informed that today is New Year's.

Happy New Year's then, all, and I think I will save this for now so that I can sleep for several hours. If I've a clear mind when I wake up, I'll check it and post it. Caio for now!

xo

BR

EDIT: Freedom, just saw your comment on my previous post. Don't worry about it, it was wrong of Jenna to say that and your reaction was completely understandable. I stand by what I said about repaying you!

2011-12-28

Does anybody know anyone living in or near Memphis...

...who is nice, can spare some travel time, has a car, and is not an axe murderer / serial rapist?

And if so, might you ask them if they could possibly give me a ride back to California?

Thanks sooooo much. I'd explain some more but I sort of snuck into this library to use the computer and I can't risk staying much longer or they'll probably find me and kick me out. I'm going to try to find a way to look less like a homeless vagrant tomorrow so that I can get back on and actually communicate with people.

Oh, and thanks for the Christmas wishes, folks!

xo

BR

2011-12-25

Merry Christmas!

I don't have a tree or decorations or presents or a chimney or stockings or friends or family.
But I do have cookies.
So I'm pretending I'm Santa and eating them.

Sharing with Jenna of course because I'm a good person.

I haven't really slept in the past four days or so, which is how I actually know that it is in fact Christmas today. I wasn't really keeping track of the days before, but lately I have nothing better to do then watch the clocks change.

Anyway I don't really have any updates. There's no sign of Alva. I haven't learned anything new about the Path beyond what you guys have told me. Jenna doesn't understand how Mr Tobias treats me.

I honestly haven't been thinking about him much. Dunno why. I keep forgetting to research Them, too, but I guess they're not particularly relevant as to what I'm looking for now.

I dunno.

Bluh.

Just a lot of weird waking dreams lately I guess. My mind's sort of unfocused on anything else.

But regardless, a happy Christmas or whatever holiday and, soon, happy New Year to you all!

xo

BR